Grindylows and Kneazles
by Marauder Number Fiive
Summary: It's late one night in the Gryffindor Common Room and Lily and James have an in depth conversation pertaining to grindylows and kneazles, the two worst creatures in the world


Lily Evans was very particular about what she liked and didn't like. She thought of herself as a good person and very rarely claimed to "hate" anything. There were, however, specific things that she would never like. Grindylows. That was probably on the top of things that Lily didn't like, with their scaly fingers and vicious natures. As a former swimmer in her Muggle days, Lily almost took personal offense by the creatures, given that they attacked innocent people lazing in waters, minding their own businesses. Not to mention the fact that they were virtually useless, providing wizards with no help whatsoever. They were not fun or cuddly or comforting in any way shape or manner. In fact, all grindylows should be eliminated in order to perfect the world into a better place, a world where people could swim freely without having to fear their horrible claws tearing at their limbs. It was safe to say that she, Lily Evans, the girl who tried not to hate anything, hated grindylows.

Thus, her hatred of grindylows brought her back to the dilemma at hand - her Care of Magical Creatures essay. Apparently Professor Grubbyplank wanted them to "explore controversy of various creatures" and write an essay about any creature they had studied thus far in their six years, two months of schooling and why that creature was a menace to society. The obvious choice for Lily was grindylows, that much went without saying. But the real problem was that she could not come up with enough reasons as to why grindylows were the most despicable things to ever curse the earth with their presence.

Though it was common knowledge that grindylows could be hostile and attack at a whim, there were few incidents actually reported in all the books Lily had gone through in the library. This was a major problem. She couldn't simply write that grindylows were horrible because they scared the daylights out of her, that wasn't rational enough for any school topic. Oddly enough she didn't think that Professor Grubbyplank would care so much that her boggarts always took the form of the scaly monsters, an excuse that might have passed if she was a Third Year in Defense Against the Dark Arts. She had already described the two documented attacks of Scotland and was absolutely stuck.

So here was the Head Girl, top of her class, with only about a quarter of the minimum requirements for the essay complete, sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room at one in the morning before it was due. Needless to say, this was not helping with her hatred of grindylows. Just as she was contemplating scratching out her own eyes with her quill, yet another magical thing she disliked - pens were so much easier and practical, the portrait swung open, revealing two tired looking boys. "Hello Lily," Remus muttered sleepily as he made his way towards his room. James gave her a small wave and a smile and followed his friend upstairs.

Lily frowned deeply as the desire to scratch her own eyes out increased. Though it was already November fourth, fifth actually since it was past midnight, James had only asked her out sixteen times this year, and not once in a twelve days. Of course this pause had come after she had resigned herself to say yes, an idea she had been toying with since May of Sixth Year. As both their egos diminished with age, Lily had started to notice how fun James could be, how he somehow always managed to make her laugh through his ridiculousness. Not to mention just how fit he was. He had very broad shoulders, an important attribute in the mind of Lily Evans. Yet she had kept herself from saying yes because of a small hint of pride that remained mixed with friendship and the fear of messing things up. With the encouragement of Amelia, however, Lily had gotten over the fear and pride and decided to suck it up and say yes. Just as he decided to stop asking apparently. Lovely.

She was too deeply immersed in her own thoughts of death by quill to hear James walk back down the stairs and plop himself in the armchair next to her, resulting in her jumping in the air in surprise. He chuckled to himself, "Scare easily Evans?"

Her eyes narrowed playfully at the sound of her last name. "Only because of you Potter," she retorted as she stuck her tongue out.

"Now Evans," he started slowly, "I really must insist that you don't stick your tongue out at me. It's rather rude to tease me with it like that." Blushing a deep shade of red, Lily's tongue disappeared quickly. "What are you working on anyway?" he asked, as he grabbed the parchment off the small table in front of him.

"Care of Magical Creatures," she said dejectedly. "I'm stuck."

"Ahh," he murmured, eyes scanning the few sentences she had quickly. "Remus and I finished ours in the library before patrol tonight. I wrote about kneazles, those awful little buggers." He grabbed the quill out of her hand. "You know, I don't think that 'grindylows, also known as the spawn of Satan himself, all deserve a slow and painful death' is exactly an appropriate phrase for Grubbyplank to read," he said with a smile on his face as he scratched it out.

Lily got up quickly to stand over his shoulder giggling, "There is no possible way I wrote that!" and soon retracted her claim as the proof was put in front of her. "Well…it's true," she started weakly. "And it's late. Besides, kneazles are so cute." Good thinking, she thought to herself. Switch the attention away from my dismal essay to him.

"Maybe the Head Girl shouldn't procrastinate as much then," he teased her. "And that's the exact problem with kneazles. They seem cute and innocent, acting like your best friend, but in actuality they're much more dangerous than grindylows because people let their guards down around them. Everyone knows that grindylows are shifty, but few people actually remember that the cute furry thing in front of them can be vicious and deadly." James put down her piece of parchment and looked up at the girl to his right. "But as soon as you have something they want, they attack!" At the last word, he grabbed Lily quickly, hands poking and prodding her sides while pulling her into his lap.

"JAMES!" she shrieked, trying to wiggle away from his tickling fingers that seemed to be everywhere at the same time. With a particularly strong lurch, she did not manage to free herself from his grasp but instead somehow knocked over the entire armchair, sending the two of them sprawling backwards onto the floor behind them.

"Ugh," he groaned underneath Lily, still seated in the chair. "Only you could possibly end up doing that Evans, very smooth."

Out of breath, Lily pouted. "You know bloody well that that was not my fault. You knew exactly how I'd react."

James gave her his best devilish grin. "Actually, you're right. Maybe I hadn't predicted such a violent outcome, but I knew." Lily noticed that as he said this, his grip around her tightened as his nose started nudging at random spots along her neck and back.

Her heart rate picked up. "Oh?" she asked in what she desperately hoped was a calm voice. "Then why'd you do it?" His hands were playing with the hem of her shirt, barely touching her stomach. Lily was thoroughly convinced that at this point he could hear the beating of her heart, it was too loud and erratic to ignore.

His nose stopped just behind her ear. "Because I'm a kneazle, love. I see something I want and I take it," he whispered huskily. Just as Lily's eyes fluttered shut, she felt his teeth nip at her neck, hard.

"JAMES!" she yelled again, trying to get up for the first time. "You definitely left a mark, you git!" Finally able to crawl out of his lap, rolling onto the ground in a most ungraceful manner, she crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Come on now Lily," he said with a roguish grin. "I'm a kneazle, I can't help myself when you're around. You think I'm cute and cuddly but then I attack!" He lurched towards her, effectively pinning her onto the ground.

"You're such a dork."

Later that morning at breakfast, Lily sat down next to Amelia, essay depicting the evilness of grindylows in hand. It was by far one of the worst essays she had ever written, containing phrases such as 'There is a special place in Hell for grindylows, the menaces that lurk in the waters, waiting to savagely drag innocent swimmers to their untimely death' and other ridiculous claims. "Morning," she yawned as she reached for some toast and a piece of sausage.

"Hey Lily, thought you weren't going to make it today with your essay and everything," the curly headed blonde started to chatter. "You really just should've done something like banshees or even wild goblin colonies, much easier topics but - MERLIN, what happened to your neck!?" she exclaimed, leaning forward to examine the poorly covered red and purple marks that were gracing the entire left side of Lily's neck.

"Oh, that," Lily flushed. "I got attacked by a kneazle."

As Amelia started to blab on about how she shouldn't wear such shiny earrings and how they should inform the professors that there was a vicious kneazle loose in the castle, James strolled into breakfast, eyes scanning the Great Hall quickly. As he spotted Lily, he slipped into the empty seat next to her, grabbing her hand and lacing his fingers through hers under the table causing her to smile shyly to herself. Though Lily absolutely hated grindylows, she had become quite fond of kneazles overnight.

**Grindylows actually sound like the most horrible things in the world to me, I don't know about anyone else. Hope ya'll liked it!**

**Isabel**


End file.
